Diary #28 : Sometimes Strangers Help…

Sometimes life can be miserable, there can be a problem that has been a problem for so long that those around you are just fed up of hearing about it and have views on the matter that mean you can no longer just talk about a situation because their response is based on a long standing feeling from months and months of trying and helping you.

It can be lonely.

It can suck balls.

Honestly it can be one of the loneliest part of life.

Reaching out to strangers whether professionally or just to talk on places like Reddit can seem too much. You worry that people will laugh, that your problem just won’t be interesting enough and that in the end you’ll just feel worse but that isn’t always the case.

I won’t bore you to death once again talking about my problem but when it flares up I feel lost. I want to talk to someone, scream about it and just get it off my chest. Hear people’s feelings and thoughts and try and choose a side of the battling voices in my head. Thing is everyone I know at this point have their opinion, have given their advice and that is where they stand. They don’t care if all I want to do is blow of steam because at this point they are just fed up of me crawling along the same path when they’ve told me exactly how to fix the problem.

So I turn to Reddit.

It doesn’t always work, sometimes I ask for advice and get nothing but I find looking at some of the places to make friends or find someone to talk to get enough replies that at least one or two people even if it is just for the night will listen, give me their view of the entire thing and let me get it off my chest for long enough that I feel a lot better.

Before I go on I guess I have to admit that it is easier for women to get replies on these places because some men will reply just to be a shoulder to cry on with intentions of moving it on to… Well you know what. No not all men, in fact the one person who I talked to once when I reached out that stuck around is male and he has no interest in anything like that with me but he’s now fallen into the above category of person who has heard this problem so much over the last 7 or so months that he has his stance on it and new layers to my misery are met with “you know what I think.”

I also would say try not to go and post in places that are just echo chambers. Look for individuals to talk to because, and I’m guilty of this I must admit, sometimes people just look at a miserable post and want to express that that is how they feel too and it just turns into one big miserable thread of no one actually talking too each other.

It can be hard to find these people but they are out there.

So what is my point?

My point is that reaching out is hard for everyone, especially when you feel your problem is silly yourself. I have feelings for someone and I know the logical, right things to be doing but I still get caught up in the feelings from time to time and want to cry about them to someone so that they can back up the logical part whilst making me feel better about it. Your problem could be huge, it could be tiny but if it is effecting you then it is as important as you want it to be.

One of the best things someone ever told me is that my problems aren’t silly, if they upset me and impact me in any way mentally then they are important. Don’t let anyone hit you with the “people have it worse” stuff because you are human and your feelings, your mental health and your problems are important.

Sure me having a crush on a guy who thinks I’m a psycho isn’t the end of the world but it feels it to me.

It might sound silly to you but it impacts my life in a huge way every single day.

I can go weeks without caring, weeks where I’ve finally settled and gotten over it just for something to happen and the feelings come flooding back, feelings I don’t think I have anymore. Those moments I need someone other than myself to talk to and that is when I reach out. It might not always help but a lot of the time just talking to someone, someone who won’t judge, sometimes someone who will be on your side even though you know that you’re wrong, someone who will give advice but also just listen is important.

A stranger can be the one that really helps you through a tough patch and it isn’t because your friends are bad or anything like that but because sometimes you just need that extra opinion.

So if you are down reach out. I’m always here and there are people online that can just be your support to get stuff off your chest too.

Don’t be scared to ask for help.