There is a very good reason I’m writing this nonsense right now.
One thing I hate is napping, I have extreme time anxiety and get very anxious and depressed when I waste time during the day napping. The same happens if I wake up late. Therefore being sick is the worst thing in the world for me as all I want to do is nap and nap is all I’ve been doing.
So I really have to apologise but we have got super behind on everything right at the end of the season at that.
Thing is I’ve been super sick basically since the impact of COVID-19 (Coronavirus) hit the UK a week and a bit ago. At one point I was very worried I had caught it but it became obvious I probably just had a sore throat that because I have a bad immune system and get sicker then most when I get sick, and find I catch everything going, just managed to absolutely destroy me in the last week and a bit.
That isn’t a excuse to why things got behind, they were getting that way before I even got sick. That is down to depression and the fact that panic buying had already started up and the stress of work was weighing heavy on me.
I still have a few days of self isolation left and I’m being told that for mental health reasons I might want to take a few more days off but that is personal stuff I don’t need to go into, the reason I bring it up is because I need to try and focus now on regaining some of the momentum I brought into this year.
So the update part of this is basically to let you all know that I will be slowly, hopefully getting back up to date. The stupid thing is I have drafts of so many shows DONE ready to be posted but it is finding that little bit of strength to log in and do stuff as my anxiety and depression leave me basically a potato incapable of doing much.
Below is the COVID-19 stuff…
So I’ve been a bit of a bad but I’m trying to sort that out.
You might think I’ve put streaming before the website but that isn’t really true. I mean yeah I have been streaming a whole bunch when I might of wanted to be writing but there is a reason.
I’m going to go into that in a minute but because it is now a big part of my week and we are now kind of pretend trying to get to 50 followers just to see if we can I’ll put the link not only to our Twitch page but now our brand spanking new Discord server right here.
Twitch : https://www.twitch.tv/awerka89
Discord : https://discord.gg/yTTvzw
The update part of this is that I have notes, first drafts and all sorts of EVERYTHING (nearly) that needs to be updated. I just need to sit down and write it all out. Pet has been delayed because I didn’t realise that I had totally forgotten to get the week before lasts review out, I don’t think it was even written. Everything else will be out ASAP.
Doctor Who and Inside No. 9 I’m only just getting up to date with so I’ve been avoiding Amanda’s reviews to avoid spoilers (I know a bad way of doing things but I’ve been super excited about both shows but had no time to watch them) they will 100% be out TODAY.
This weeks stuff I will hopefully get working on tomorrow and the weekend.
I will try and balance streaming and writing much better going forward, with new hours at work which will hopefully make me a little more motivated that shouldn’t be too hard, I’ll have a proper schedule a week in advance for streaming too which I’ll post in Discord. If not this month next month I’m hoping to have emotes on Discord too.
Below is a reason why I’ve been streaming more but please feel free to follow us and join us on the Discord. It isn’t just about streaming and gaming we have channels for all sorts so we’d like you to join in and hang out with us.
Continue reading Diary #35 : Another update + A proper end to the Anxiety Experiment
I very much hope that every single one of you had a lovely Christmas and getting to have a lazy Boxing Day. For those who had to work I hope people treat/ed you with respect and it went well and for those who celebrate other holidays or nothing at all I hope you just had a good day!
Whilst it is easy to think that for one day a year people can just turn off their feelings and get in the Christmas mood that just doesn’t happen.
Continue reading Diary #30 : Depression doesn’t stop for the holidays!
So usually these posts are inspired by something that has happened to me. I like sharing the stories and how I feel because it makes me feel better when I’m down knowing others go through what I do and I’m not alone, I’m not broken because I feel this way I just have to keep fighting.
This time I guess it is and isn’t inspired by anything.
On the one hand it is something I’ve noticed in my life and on the other it is just something that popped into my head.
Being depressed doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve been through depression and depression isn’t the same as being depressed….
Continue reading Diary #29 : Depression and Depressed aren’t the same thing…
It is a serious question I’ve had to try and figure out this week, as my depression hits harder then it has all year (I’ve probably said it before but I’ll back this up in a moment) I just find myself sitting there asking why I had to be me?
Why can’t I be someone else?
Continue reading Diary #27 : What to do when you just don’t want to be you anymore?
So I said in my Playlist that I’d write a little bit about what is going on so here is what is going on.
Continue reading Diary #25 : Pain, Depression and no Motivation…
Yes I know, I know. Not only did the streak end but week 33 just didn’t happen. In fact recently nothing has been happening and its a mixture of depression, anxiety, hard work and being in so much pain that if I’m not at work being forced to be awake I’m at home either crying in pain or napping to get away from the pain.
I don’t really want to dwell on the pain and the crying right now, some terrible news was passed to me today which I don’t have the time to really digest right now seeing I still have two more days of work so a complete cop out week is in order.
Remember I did that ridiculous blog with my childhood songs? Well here are four, only four I promise, from my actual CHILD childhood that mean nothing personally other then being things I listened too before I was old enough to know better or have much choice. I’ll hope to have a blog out latter in the week explaining everything. At least by Thursday.
So another week has gone and we’re still on our streak. I pretty much did a proper blog last week after a cop out the week before. This time… I dunno, I’ve managed to pick seven, count them SEVEN, songs I THINK I can do something with so lets see what we get.
You’ve heard it all before. I’m just trying to come up with things as best I can. I think these ones are turning more philosophical and long reaching then anything else, I mean I’ve come to the conclusion that other than once in a blue moon I don’t actually have much going on in my life that is gonna come up that needs to be discussed.
Hell even only in certain ways would Dolly Parton’s 9-5 be useful, I mean all I do is work and get ready to work some more but I don’t work 9-5, sure I’m barely getting by and its driving me crazy but I need those pennies so that I can buy games and shit.
Plus like who really wants weeks of me quoting Dolly at them?
Geek Mind : Believe in Geek 